Here's the thing about anger...it is a total legitimate emotion, of course. But like any emotion, it needs to be expressed in a way that minimizes unnecessary harm to other peoples (and to oneself). That's true for all feelings, in my opinion, but it is just more obvious with anger because anger can turn so quickly into abuse for many of us.
So my feelings aren't that anger = out of control. It's more like anger expressed in deliberately hurtful or abusive ways = out of control.