I don't know if it is the AV messing with my mind, depression or just my way of thinking. 6 hours ago I was looking out the window as the sun shone down on the grass and told myself I am happy and I haven't felt happy in such a long time, then I said I need to get the energy and motivation to cut the grass. Now 6 hours later I feel so bad I just want to cry. It was a bad day, kept waking up with nightmares about wife, today was middle daughters birthday but she wants nothing to do with me along with some other minor stuff but I was still happy. I have no urge to use just don't know.
Sorry I just had to vent.
