One thing I had to remember, to re-learn, is that I didn't *need* to feel any particular way. How I felt is how I felt. Learning to name those feelings and sitting long enough to figure out why those feelings were bubbling up at that time took a while.
When I was in the middle of a flashback or anxiety attack, it helped to tell myself that it wasn't happening *now*. I am safe. Breathe long deep breaths. The breathing actually took a very conscious effort, because my breathing would be very quick and shallow.
Not only will a counsellor be able to give you techniques to use, but the DV shelter and support groups can tell you things that worked, too.