Originally Posted by
fairlyuncertain 
When Alcoholics start demanding respect, it's been my experience that they don't actually give a fig about respect.
No, they want adoration. They want applause, and lots of it, for their achievement of not being an a$$hole in that moment (the next moment? Well, that's still in the future). They want a full-ego massage that helps them feel special, entitled and superior.
He probably just got mad because you treated him like a full-grown adult who could carry his own weight without complaint, and forgot to give him a trophy. Keep treating him like an adult. His recovery, if he persists in it, will bring self-respect into his life, and end the demands that you do it for him!
Thank you for this! Love the fact that he can earn his own self-respect and that he doesn't need to demand or expect respect from me.
Umm, he has BEEN mad at me for 2 years now because that's when I stopped enabling, that's when I detached, and that's when I took charge of my own recovery. Maybe I should give him some reading material on 'acceptance'? Ok, kidding. I know he needs to find that on his own, too!