Thanks Nomis and VeryReady. I'm very glad to be back and just posting here actually lifted another burden from me that I came clean here, with the people who were there when I first started this journey.
Nomis, that scene in Flight is very powerful. I'm glad you made it. You are doing so well - 18 months! Wow...I look forward to that day, I really do.
VeryReady, that is exactly how I feel now. When I decided to be honest with my husband this time, as opposed to last time when I just said I stopped drinking to feel better, he said, "Well, it's not your fault, it's in your DNA." And it's true, three of my four great-grandfathers were alcoholics. All three died from some sort of alcohol-related disease. None of my grandparents drank much; probably as a result of the damage caused by their fathers. My dad has a problem, although he doesn't drink until the evening (and only drinks light beer). However, because I have a problem myself, I recognize the signs of checking out of life, losing interest in doing things etc. because drinking becomes what you think about most. So, when I truly accepted that I have something in my genetics that makes me unable to be a normal drinker, it was a lot easier to let it go and feel the relief of acceptance.
That being said, I have to work at it and I'm much more of a newbie than all of you, but wiser with the experience of the relapse.
It's a beautiful morning here. My husband is leaving for a business trip to Florida today and my mom will be here all week to help out with the kids. It's good to have her here and not be drinking so we can spend quality time together.
Have a great weekend everyone!