Just checking in. Really tough week here - partly external, partly internal. I feel like things I've kept inside are welling up and it's been an emotionally confusing, chaotic and exhausting week for me. I went to meetings every day and I'm going to one tomorrow. I can't really tell whether it is making me more stirred up or helping, but for the moment I sit in the room, I feel that I'm in exactly the right place, and that's the only time I feel that all day sometimes. So I keep going.
Yesterday I just sobbed all the way into work, and I couldn't explain why. My theory is that I'm starting to wake up to the feelings I've stuffed down for long and I just don't have the tools yet to deal with them effectively, but I really have no idea.
I think I will look back at this time as a time when I really turned a corner. As long as I keep going.
Best to all of you - stay strong, stay with this. It's hard but I truly believe good things are coming, and really, good things are here already, even when it's hard to see.