I love what dandylion said!
Your situation is very familiar to me in many ways. I determined that he was not the kind of man I wanted as my husband, so I decided to give him a chance to change. He didn't like me the way I was either, so he decided to give me a chance to change. Neither one of us took the "opportunity" to change into what the other person wanted. And neither of us was happy being married to the person we were married to.
Sound familiar?
L