I can relate to pretty much everything you said, BigShoe. I used to believe life was just gonna suck if I wasn't drinking. I also write music, and I (or my AV) was convinced that alcohol made me much more creative. Here's what really happened: alcohol gave me delusions of grandeur. It created the illusion that my life was exciting, when really it was pretty boring and pathetic. Instead of writing music, I was content to sit on my ass and listen to what other people wrote, imagining I could be just as good or better. Instead of taking care of things that needed to be done, I opted to watch TV (and usually fell asleep).
I also know how overwhelmed you can get once you sober up and notice all the stuff that's been neglected. It almost feels like panic, doesn't it? I'm learning to pace myself, because feeling overwhelmed has often influenced my decision to drink again. Just as we stay sober a day at a time, we can only live life a day at a time. There is no possible way for me to catch up on the life I let slip by for the 26 years I drank nearly every day. Some of those things I might never get a chance to do, but I sure intend to make a dent in a lot of them!