I used to feel that way too man, each night I didn't drink was a night wasted, each day was just a waste if I wasn't buzzing, each get together, each barbecue, each time out at a restaurant, each family trip , all a waste without my alcohol.
It took me 10 years to realize that drinking each night and day was the real waste.
the alcohol is like a claw that grips your body and clouds your mind and wont let you go, and when you finally shake it off you open your eyes and see the beautiful world.
My first morning sober I woke up went outside early and not hungover/groggy for once, and I took a very ddeeeeep breath and just took in life. I still do now.
Youll find it man, if you really want to find it you will. Even now, at night on a Friday I go jogging sometimes, and I tell myself, who would've imagined on a Friday night id be out jogging, when before I would already be drunk in my dark room possibly passed out slumped on a chair by now.