Boredom in sobriety
For years I would stop drinking for lent. I was far from religious but thought I could tap into the cosmic community of energy and stop for a while. I knew that the body could sure use a break from the onslaught of booze that was sure to continue at Easter.
One thing I always felt was boredom. What do normal people do? Life is boring, sobriety sucks. The last few years I have skipped the lent breaks and have had periods of hard fought sobriety interspersed with moderate drinking. Ok, heavy drinking and moderate living.
Sober now, alas only @ 10 days or so, I am not bored, I am overwhelmed. There is so much to do. So many loose ends, chores ignored, and things to do! Of course being sober does not make me ambitious or a clean freak. I am finally getting a little energy to tackle some things, but I could sure use a little Martha Stewart energy. I have always been in awe of people who can just get things done. Job, family, hobbies, and "look at this table I made from a tree I fell in Alaska last year, and taste the pate I made from ducks I shot last night."
I look around, overwhelmed, and know that I can only do so much. I used to use as an excuse. "Can't... clean, write, learn, motivate, exercise, etc. cause I'm Fxxxd up." I even use movies the same way, oh, movie just started, I'm busy.
I think they call it laziness? I have a lot of time to make up for. Cue the theme from Rocky, it's time to get a life.