Thanks Dee. It feels good to be back.
That being said, I have been gone for a long time and I abandoned you all. And it's okay if you'd rather I not post here.
Please know that I thought about all of you a lot during the time when I couldn't get it together to stop drinking again. Because I couldn't commit to stopping, I didn't want to come back. I certainly didn't want to talk about my initial belief that maybe I didn't have a problem after all. What a joke. Really, now that I'm sober again, I can clearly see the foolishness of that.
And since I've truly accepted that I do have a problem. And I've accepted it and I've surrendered to some higher power (I'm not religious, but believe there is a higher power working in all of us), I feel like a burden has been lifted. I'm not in AA, but I guess this is part of their belief system. And it worked for me. I still have to work at it, but not like before. Now I'm honest with myself and with others close to me that I have a problem. And I cannot drink.
Anyway, congratulations to those of you who are way past the year mark now! And to FMFT and Sazzle, your honesty is inspiring and I'm particularly sorry that I didn't check in even when I saw that it was hurtful. Nomis, my marriage is up and down and I ultimately not sure we'll stay together. I'm sorry you are going through your troubles and also sorry that it sounds like it will be messy.
Of course, my dog, Charlee (my avatar) is still here with me and so happy that we are going for walks again and reminding me everyday to live in the joy of the moment.
Take care everyone.