loving parents who love to drink
I haven't seen my parents in two years, and I'm having dinner with them tomorrow night. Freaking out. The last time they were here, I was so nervous because I'd fallen off the face of the earth then too that I got wasted before going to meet them, drank Manhattans all through dinner, and ended up sobbing and spilling hot tea all over my stepmom. I'm praying for the strength to avoid a repeat.
They don't know I've still been drinking. I need their help financially and emotionally, but I'm terrified to tell them I'm only a couple of days sober. AGAIN. I also don't really feel like I deserve their help...that's the shame spiral I guess...and I'm not sure they're going to want to give it. They're worried but weary.
PLUS. They're big drinkers. And we're going to dinner. Which means, big drinking. They're caring, but they won't not drink on account of me and it's going to put me in a weird place both before and after. I'm proud of my four days sober, but I know this will be really hard, and I REALLY wish I had more days under my belt.
Anyway, thanks, just needed to air that out.