Hi Pebbles, you're doing a great job of staying out of the way and letting them take responsibility.
Your daughter has the maturity and mindset that if you take care of things she won't, which puts even more responsibility on you to step back. I bet she ignored your reminders that the move was coming up because she just assumed you'd give in and do it anyway. Maybe she didn't do the mail redirection because you did it for her before.
I was pretty chaotic in my younger years, and paid the price in many small ways. Now I hear myself lecturing others about being organised!