Originally Posted by
DoubleBarrel 
I think it's hard to respect someone who doesn't show themselves respect, is self loathing and self destructive.
But I do feel compassion for them.
This. Respect is earned, not demanded. Not given simply because someone bears the title of husband, wife, president, whatever. There are different levels of respect, though. You can respect his work accomplishments if he is doing well there. Or like Pippi said, if he has a brilliant mind or creativity. In the sense he's talking about, heck no. He doesn't earn your respect. He's quacking and gaslighting you. If you didn't do xyz, then he wouldn't be this way. Quack.