Sorry your divorce (and ex) are hell. My AXH is a narcissist too, and my state likewise doesn't protect kids from alcoholic abusers unless and until the kids are maimed.
It is good to be out and away from the daily abuse, but it is gut wrenching to leave a child with an unpredictable, mood-swinging drunk. My ex drunk-drove my child recently. It is completely predictable that he would do so, despite a prohibition against him drinking before or during visitation. It is predictable that Bad Things Will Happen at some point down the line with our young child. I wish state legislatures and courts would take a hard look at the progressive nature of alcoholism and its effect on the brain and moral judgment and pass and enforce laws to actually protect kids.