That's ok nomad.
All normal what you are feeling, as other posters have said too.
Forgiving ourselves is hard. I've cursed myself out loud...many times. I'm sure most of us have. I think facing the horror of what we've done, hard as it is...is vital to making us understand why we can't drink and what we stand to lose if we do.
The first days and weeks of sobriety are about survival...just keeping sober was all I could focus on. As the full picture starts to come into view, we have goals and choices to make. A life to plan, full of possibilities. It's painful at times....but boy, in time, it becomes damn exciting.
You have a chance to claim your life back...there's a lot to gain!