Hi lifenomad....welcome.
I think the feelings you are having are normal and part of the process of first facing what we've done, and then moving forward.
Probably around 2 or 3 months of sobriety, I had some pretty torturous dreams of people I'd hurt, including mourning the life I'd said goodbye to and chosen alcohol over.
I also imagine your wife has a lot of anger, and to finally have someone sober to express it to is part of her process also. It's a big thing for both of you to face. Has your wife considered ALAnon? Even if you aren't in AA....she may find it useful to understand her anger is normal also.
Wishing you all the best....and you always have support and a place to vent here. No matter how hard it gets.