Congrats on three months, that is a huge milestone!
I think we all go through that. My biggest regret is the time lost with my children. I was not emotionally available for most of their lives. I can’t go back and fix it. I have spoken to both of them and made amends.
I continue to make a living amends by living a clean sober life and being there for them if they need me.
It takes time and beating yourself over the head with past mistakes is not going to make you or them feel better.
Don’t look so hard at the past, you don’t live there anymore.