very crappy day
Well, my day totally sucked. my son didn't go to bed til 230 am. he was crying for his father saying I miss daddy. I didn't know what to tell him. I can't stand the fact that he doesn't care, didn't care, gave up on himself, our marriage. I feel like screaming at him. But I don't. There"s no point.
So as you know, the reason I finally couldn't take him and his ways when I found out he lent his mother(whom I have a pfa against) $100 of my money. I say my b/c he hasn't worked in over 2 1/2 years. He didn't even bother asking me before he did it. And he blew another$100 on God knows what!.
Grr. So I threw him out, told him I'm done with this marriage. He had been out of detox for 3 months. Applied for 1 job. 1 job. Well his mom can deal with her lazy 28 year olf child now.
I'm getting off subject. I'm mad tonight b/c I don't have enough money to make it until pay day. Do u think he cares? No. His reply to that..I'll have to see what my mom can do. Uhh..no. you lent her money, and I should be fine with the$15 I have until Friday, but I can't not have money. Come on now, I have a6 yrold son to support.
Sorry I am really starting to doubt that he was telling the truth at all since he left detox. We wesupposed too buy a car. $500 he gave the lady. She won't pick up her phone so we can get the car transferred over. So tonight I asked him for the phone# so I can call her. He tells me I have too get it for you later. Did he even give her money? Is that why he was acting so off the past couple of weeks?.
Oh, and back to our son. I told him tonight that mommy and daddy broke up. He hasn't noticed him not being here until last night. Do I asked the advice from the psych mds and therapist I work with and they told me I should tell him. He didn't even cry. Only asked ifs he getting a new daddy. He knew he hadn't been sleeping here, but I guess it didn't bother him. Of course I cried my eyes out. I'm so lonely. I miss him terribly. My x that is. I hate that it had to come too this, that he just doesn't care, have up. Never in a million years did I ever think that he would act like this.
I read a previous post and they said when enough is enough, and you just can't take it A ny more you have too left go and just walk away. I did that. I am so glad I did, but so hurt that I was trying to keep out marriage and family together when he obviously gave up long before I did.