Originally Posted by
CaptainPolaris 
I suppose I would not be happy if one of my MDs came to me with that confession. Probably I would contact HR. Im friends with the CEO though and I don't let myself get too out of control. I know Im rational but I wouldnt be certain they were. We know ourselves better than others. Anyhow I do intend to not go to the liquor store tomorrow. Small goals first, eh? Thats how I managed to stay quit for 3 yrs...
Uhh....I do not think you're being rational. Let me tell you, CP, I thought I knew myself better than others knew me. You know what? I didn't. I really didn't. I knew what food I liked, what drugs I liked, that cilantro margaritas with 3 shots of Patron were my favorite...you know, the general self 'I need' or 'I wants'. I was in denial. Like you! To myself, I didn't have a problem. I could rationalize it. Like you! You are not. being. rational. I repeat, you are NOT being rational. I wouldn't get so direct and stern in other posts, (and please know that I am doing so because I am genuinely concerned for you and your patients!), but you need to take some big steps here. Yes, small steps first, that is true, but, you are putting people's lives at stake. You may not think so. You are probably rationalizing it right now and thinking that I (and others) are being super exaggerative.
Like one person mentioned above, you should take a break from your work. Get yourself better. Get yourself some help!!!
Much love xoxo