Originally Posted by
CaptainPolaris 
Oh Im not justifying my use! Trust me. I know it's bad. I always plan to stop... I had stopped for so long prior to my baby's death. I can't seem to cope well any other way. I just want to give my head a break. I still make rational calls... At most I allow myself a pint in the early afternoon around lunch time and no more until later... Opiates are another story but i dont generally mix the 2. Sometimes I don't t use any later... Just if I need it for some reason. Im doing better than I was 3 yrs ago, I think
Somehow, I think that you ARE, in fact, justifying your use; your own words in your own post point to that justification:
"I still make rational calls"
"At most I allow myself a pint in the early afternoon"
"Opiates are another story but I don't generally mix the two".
CP, you are a medical doctor; you are dealing with people's lives; they place their trust in you; they rely on you. You are betraying them. You are fooling YOURSELF. Please get real, CP. You are a danger to your patients.
The people here want you to get better. Please be honest with yourself and your husband so that you can start the process of healing.