Hi all, had a day with my mum and sister at the seaside, walking and taking in the beautiful scenery, went for a coffee and just got in from walking sisters two dogs on in the village where I grew up- even saw the primary school I went to as a child. I should be happy but for some reason Ive felt immense sadness and at times came close to tears, seeing how life 'should/could' have been had I not drank away 18 years is hard to take. Im sentimental and the walk brought many memories back that id forgotten.
It all seems so much of a mountain I have to climb to be where I should be at this stage of my life that at times it seems impossible. I know I should keep it in the day and I know drink is not an option anymore and Im trying- God knows Im trying, went to an AA meeting last night but just felt empty, hoping to talk things through with my sponsor/friend later. Its frustrating feeling this way when my mum is visiting because I only see her once or twice for a week in a year.
Got my girls tomorrow and taking them to the cinema so hope this feeling passes and I feel better by then.