jpnme,
You are no longer alone.
Finding out your child is addicted to heroin is going to knock you down, there is no shame in that. You will be able to pick yourself up again.
You say your life your family is forever changed, and perhaps that is so ....but I especially like and agree with what ChrisMan said "The sun will shine once again. It will take time, but it will. Hopefully, in the process of recovery, your son will become a true man, with greater knowledge of himself and others. Recovery from addiction has a way of doing that."
My son is not at this point yet, he will get there. I believe in him.
He has relapsed in the past but he keeps fighting, this time might be the time he makes it.
Yet, I know for a fact what ChrisMan says can be true, because I've watched both my brothers recover, they are currently 11 and 8 years clean and sober. I have meet others with years of recovery. There is something very special about all of them.
I also know it's a long and difficult road they must travel. As mothers we need to find the tools to help us function within our own lives, to not enable them, to understand what addiction is and finally to understand the only thing we can do, the only thing we can really do, is love them.
hugs
sigh