jpnme, your son has given you a gift that me, and many others here never gave our mothers...a son/daughter who is an addict/alcoholic and failed to get sick and tired of being sick and tired until after it was too late to give ourselves back to a family member as a clean and sober recovering person. I'm 50, and stayed drunk for over 33 years...until 5 yrs after my mother had died. She never saw me sober as an adult. Hang on to that gift...it's more than I gave my mom.
AlAnon and NarAnon are great programs and tools for you to deal with this in a healthy way...use them, for your sake, your family's sake, and your son's sake.
Your family will be in my prayers.
BubbaBob