I think if you feel suicidal you need to involve a doctor or a counselor, Thankful - or at the very least a crisis line.
There are some crisis line links in here - and some useful reading too. Please do look through them:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html
A little depression is normal for some of us when we quit - but, based on your post, this seems a little more than that?
I hope you will reach out and find some help.
It really will get better
D