Hello Friends!
wanted to check in ...I come here and read a lot but seem to of been without words for some time now. Really dealing with depression in a big way. It is not a new thing for me. It has pretty much been there my whole life and has often been what drives me back to drug use. I have about 110 days clean this go round. I go to meetings , do a lot of walking and am going to a training next week called Intentional Peer Support. I am really looking forward to it as I need something to stimulate my mind. I find that repeating the serenity prayer over and over in my head does help from sinking into that dark place of fear and hopelessness that I have been experiencing . I am seeing a psychiatrist and she gave me Effexor to try. Been two weeks and I have not noticed anything. The psychiatrist calls me medication resistant...but I keep moving forward despite the seemingly slow progress.
I am still at the Philidelphia House and every day is a experience here with the women just released from jail. Despite my circumstance my skills with people experiencing the trauma associated with incarceration is still strong and I am able to be of great help to the lady who runs it. Luckily I get free rent here for helping and at 650 a month I am grateful . I have not had ANY income since December . Applied for SSDI and still awaiting their final decision.
We had a amazing day here. A easter egg hunt for kids. We had 35 kids here and this huge house was zooming with little ones. One of our gals, a beautiful Athabascan girl , 27 years old got to see her kids for the first time in 3 years as she just was released. There is no feeling in the world like watching her together with her kids...I love it..I love to see good things happen in lives that have been ruled by bars and locked doors. It gives me a beautiful feeling inside. So glad I can feel other peoples joy. I'm not giving up. It has been very hard. I lost my storage with all my possesions so I have had to deal with that loss. There is nothing else left to loose now so it has to be all up from here. I am treasuring my sobriety this time..it is the ONE thing nobody can take from me and I can't loose it , only by my own choice.
Love all you guys here so much . So glad to see you all doing well. want you to know I read about the health issues going on and keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.
love
Norty