need help
I'm 27, married almost one and a half years, my husband is an alcoholic. He's also abusive, both verbally and physically. I'm so exhausted of this. He just passed out after a three hour rant while he was smoking marijuana and drinking cognac. Told me I'm trash, a wh*re, a no good mother, a tramp, a hoodrat, a stupid bi*tch. And so on. Told me I hurt our son on purpose because he was crying a bit more than usual.
I try to walk with God, try to follow Jesus. But I just get so mad. I know not to argue or respond. I'm not a cheater, I don't use any drugs or alcohol. I'm a good mom. The pressure is so tremendous. I've detached to the point that I know we're through. There is a tentative plan in place, a bit of money, a support network growing. I'm terrified. Need to get out without facing my AH's wrath. I'm just so scared and worn out. Not sure if I can do this. Here in the deep south alcoholism is a way of life. I'm so.afraid the courts won't believe me and won't see my baby belongs in a safe home with me.
This is one of my darkest hours. Anyone survive something similar?