Hello,
I think you did the right thing. Your daughter and your grandson's daddy need to learn how to live their lives independently.
I guess what jumps out to me the most though is your little innocent grandson and all the specialized care he needs. Let me tell you my story.
I am a recovering addict. 8 years ago I gave birth to a premature baby girl. She was 1lb 3oz. And in the NICU for over 3 months. When it was time for her to leave the hospital she came home on a Heart monitor and oxygen. From the time of her birth (c-section) I was popping Vicodin and Percs which were prescribed by my doctor. In a moment of clarity I realized I had a problem and was over medicating myself with opiate pain pills to avoid stress. Addiction took hold and I felt I needed help. So I joined a program. Whatever moment of clarity I had before joining I must have lost it, because I couldn't stay clean. My counselor who knew I had a small premature child at home on a heart monitor became alarmed and called ACS on me. (Child protective services) they came out to investigate and were extra concerned because of my daughters complicated medical issues. They did see that my daughter was well-cared for BUT I failed the UA. So my case became automatically founded. I was mandated to a substance abuse program. It was an excellent program that was funded by the government. I learned a lot from that program. It was an all women's program for addict mothers. I was also required to attend parenting classes and a mommy and me group. I had a special councilor who kept record of all my daughters med appts., follow-ups. Checked with her doctors to make sure I took my daughter to all her appts......they even monitored her early intervention appointments. EVERYTHING! My daughter had surgery too during that time. So they were really on top of things. They even came out to my house weekly to check on my daughter. I'm not saying that I wouldn't have made sure that she received proper medical care....because I would have anyway....my point is that if I didn't I would have been in big trouble. Because there were some young mothers who missed some of their baby's appt. and had to go to court. I'll be honest with you, I was pretty angry with that counselor who turned me in to ACS, but I realized while I was in the program that it was the best thing to happen to me....it forced me into recovery and made sure I took excellent care of my daughter and her health needs.
I know it's a big step to call child services on your daughter. Only you can make that decision. You probably fear that they would automatically take your grandson away from his parents....but they don't. They would much rather work WITH the parents to make sure they learn how to care for their child's special needs. I found, from my own experience that those are the families they pay close attention too. I was in that program for 3 years...they had a graduation ceremony and everything. They also help with daycare, vocational training and job placement. Families that have indicated cases receive a lot of benefits. They also helped me file for SSI for my daughter. That was an extra income coming in while I was at home caring for my disabled daughter as well as free medical care for my daughter.
I think a lot of people don't realize how much child services HELPS family's. People think they only want to take the children away from parents. My child was never removed from my care....but they did force me to care for her properly and to remain in recovery. I know your daughter is on methadone, which is a maintenance med, but given her history of substance abuse and the special health needs of your grandson, I'm suspecting that they would want to monitor the family.
This is just my experience and I'm sure if you called them you could ask them questions like what is their procedure and how do they help families. Also, you do not have to give your name.