Originally Posted by
CaptainPolaris 
Some people have stated that their loved ones had no idea there was a problem. I believe that if this happened to me, there would be a sort of barrier to recovery. I am not saying that those who know they have a problem who never appeared to have a problem to others cannot recover... But I am saying that I don't think I would have been able to stop if my husband hadnt been acutely aware of my issues and pushed me to stop long before I knew I had a problem. It seems that it is more often the case that people who keep drinking after only a day or 2 of sobriety don't have as much incentive to stop. If you were "sick and tired of being sick and tired" you may have more success. When life is more painful, the more you drink... Then you will be able to say enough is enough. You have to want it! Really really want it! Maybe those of you who go back on the fence constantly day after day just don't want or need to quit that bad yet.
I think a lot of people have this idea- subconscious or not -that as long as they hold it together and remain 'functional', there's no problem, and that they have to hit some kind of devastating bottom before they quit.
I believed that then - right up until the end, even when I was drinking all day everyday, I was 'not that bad'.
Having been through it I firmly believe bottom is a decision not an event. You can stop whenever you like...
and I'm really pleased to see more and more people here thinking about their problem before they lose everything like I did
As for other people knowing or not, Captain, I think the only person who needs to know in order for change to occur is us.
If we make our recovery dependent on other people, I think not only are we putting a lot of responsibility onto someone else for what needs to be be our job, but we also leave ourselves an 'out' should that person 'fail us'.
D