Hello Jakec,
I will pray for you. Looks like you have been having a difficult time.
Your addiction doesn't own you. Remember that you are more precious than you might think in the eyes of god. About hurting yourself, I hope there won't be a next time. Breaks my heart to hear this. Next time you feel down hit SR hard, PM me if you want I will try my best to help.
You got this, keep pushing forward.
Take care