JL, you are doing the right stuff. There is no way, no how the drink helps you in any comprehensible way. Stay strong brother.
Wow Dolly, thanks for sharing. You really laid out your vulnerabilities, so thanks also for trusting us. It's a privilege ( I'd like to comment further later).
This is my first time attempting to quit. At the moment, I don't think I will ever go back. Yet I am cognizant that there may come a time that my demon starts whispering. I'll cross that bridge when/if he comes calling. I'm no longer going to live in fear of unknowns...just a waste if time.
Running it through though: I'm more like Bilr. I don't yearn to drink like " normal" people. They can have 2 or 3 drinks and walk away. I never wanted that. I never saw the point in that (like decaffeinated coffee...why?). I want more than 12 drinks (beer). I want to get f@(&ed up.
No longer want that. It's that simple.
And I don't compare sobriety to those crappy drinking moments (like most had become over the past 5 years). I compare sobriety to the very best drinking moments. Like hanging out with great friends on a beautiful Saturday floating down the Itchnetucknee River, followed by grilling on the barbecue while watching a Gator football game. There is absolutely nothing beer can do to make that day any better (is how I feel now). I just finally broke the chain.
LS wondered if we will always have to stay this focused for the rest of our lifes. It can be an overwhelming thought, but it took a tremendous amount of my resources to stay drunk. That was overwhelming. I find sobriety easier.
Openly wondering: is it easier for a drinker like me (as opposed to binge drinkers, who drank, say, on weekends only) to stay quit? What I mean is, I am all or nothing. I don't have a weekly build up to the drink. So I don't have this weekly weekend reminder of what I might be missing. Does this make sense?