I am embarrassed to say for how very long I did this back and forth dance.
And it only became worse, worse and the worst over all this time.
I really loved him. Still do...but from a long distance and with full understanding of what/who he is.
I did meet and am partners with a man who is so kind, drama-free, supportive and loving that I continue to learn from that bad relationship, I can see far more clearly how bad it all was now. Simply cannot imagine putting myself in that situation again.
I guess I am saying if you are uncomfortable now, it will likely only progress as that is what alcoholism does.
The first time my partner brought home a 6 pack, I told him that I had strong issues from the past and really never wanted to see a 6 pack in my frig again. enough said. After that he might occasionally buy himself a single beer.
After 2-3 years, I was no longer threatened by him liking beer from time to time and now I don't mind an occasional 6 pack, but he is the only person I am comfortable around having a drink.
I would not, could not be with anyone who always has a drink in hand. That is too triggering and scary to me.