Yurt-
I think we are leading almost "twin" lives. I'm sitting here, waiting for the inevitable. Actually, a good time for me to leave would have been when he landed himself in the hospital 2 weeks ago, but my brother is getting married on our property next month so I didn't want to take a chance to ruin his wedding. (excuses?) He's watching his drinking right now as your husband is, "Cutting back". I know sooner or later he will slip up and have a full on blackout drunk anytime now.
I also dream of a little cottage, just big enough for me and DD! Knowing what we are coming home to every day, what we are waking up to, and being able to laugh and play with out waking someone up after a binge.
Stay strong. I believe God will tell me when I need to leave, and I feel it coming soon. Believe in yourself!