sweetie, this is part of your post from 4-14-13 - almost exactly ONE year ago - regarding your now X husband:
I am wondering if I should just go back and be with him, take the good with the bad, and love each other until the end no matter what. Is love enough? Is having a relationship that is 70% great, and 30% problematic, enough to divorce? Therapy is not helping me...I am still confused. Geez!!!
it seems as if you found a "replacement" for the above - in yet another relationship where ALCOHOL reigns supreme and you are still not getting your needs met. went right back to what has become your uncomfortable Comfort Zone.
I think what you said above is key:
and if I found someone else...I would just find something wrong...so I tell myself to suck it up...it could be worse