Trying to let go.
I grew up with a brother who tried every type of drug he could get his hands on, and even as a younger kid I saw the destruction it brought on my mother who tried desperately to get him help.
Thankfully he did and is much better. But that isn't really the point.
I started dating a girl last year around the same time. I was kind of a late bloomer into the dating scene, but after seeing a few other girls fell in love with this girl. We had an amazing relationship, there we're issues and faults, but she told me she was on methadone, and I was with her up until she finished. I never really had much experience with drugs, weed never the hard stuff, so when she told me she used coke out at a bar about 3 weeks after we became a couple I didn't really know how to handle it. It made me mad but I shrugged it off as whatever it was just once.
Time passed she broke up with me, and after about a month or so she started using ketamine mostly but also ice, ghb, coke, heroin, etc etc... And to this day is habitually using ketamine. I feel guilty to because two people who I thought we're my best friends screwed me over then in doing so started hanging out with her and enabling and using with her. I've had to let go of a lot of "friends" in the past due to her aswell.. After we broke up I saw her about 5 months later, went to dinner where she explained about all the things shed been using, I could tell she was high, and going through the happy everything is good phase of using, so after that night I changed my phone number and deleted my Facebook so that if she did try to contact me she couldn't.... 2 months later my now friend roommate gets a msg on fb from her saying she needs to talk to me. I find out how she is using a lot, raving a lot, blew through loads of money, and wants me back in her life. I let her in, I stupidly was trying so hard to just reconnect with her i decided to do coke with her, which my roommate was mad about, he doesn't want me doing anything, he went down that road, kinda like a big brother to me, so she then broke up with me again because she didn't want to **** up my life, which quickly became different reasons over time as we talked. I wanted to be with her, but I can't support her using, and being there to witness it, I want to let go of her like I did in the past so badly, but after seeing her again and learning about her lifestyle I don't know what to so. I offer her all types of help, I know she won't take it, and once again I have told her in stepping aside if she needs help ever to come to me... And I did that once already and have to live with the repercussions of doing so, so why do I want to potentially let her so it all again? I wish she would just commit to stop using, I know ketamine messes with your emotions like crazy, so it has me questioning all the time if she is even herself, even thinking rationally... I just don't know what to do...