Sorry for all those struggling.
I think it is a shock at first when the cravings or thoughts or just plain uncomfortable feelings come bullying us. It is like being kicked when we are already down and vulnerable.
BUT what I wanted to offer in reassurance is that every time you go through it and do not drink, it makes you stronger, and not just for that moment but in a permanent kind of way.
The determination, perseverance, commitment, self respect, and strength that continuous sobriety teaches you DOESN'T leave. It is sobriety's gift to you and you get to keep it for the rest of your sober days.
Promise. Stick with it and see for yourself.