FS, it may have happened but that you are so self aware and able to articulate your feelings in this way is huge. And to be able to get your AH to relate on a way his brain can understand is great too. I have always felt as though my XAH could never really "get" codependency. Just like you said, there is nothing to show that you had a relapse other than your feelings and actions. No one is going to smell your breath to know if you relapsed LOL.
You are one amazing person. Pick up, dust off, move forward.
Tight Hugs my friend. XXX