I understand couples therapy can be a good thing, but you likely need individual therapy for you too so you don't have to worry about that. I think it is all in how you say it. If you say "These things have pi$$ed me off," that will seem like an attack. If you say, "I have a list of things I think we both need to work on," not so much. I bet if you calibrate your list to say, "It hurt my feelings when....", or adding I statements to your current list of how it made you feel, it can come across just fine.
Your a writer, I know you can do it!!!
XXX