sounds like you are hanging in there which is awesome, I know how awful you can feel coming off anything. I hate coming off any antidepressiants, not as bad as smack but darn close for me mentally.
I know I'm not some stone sober member and don't think I will ever be considered sober by most on the board since I still toke from time to time, but I gave up a huge part of my life an idenity when I walked away from the parties,clubs and customers. No one ever thinks of their dealer as an addict too, addicted to the money, the life and in allot of cases the drugs. It's hard on the dealer to get clean almost more so than most user, one call does not get me an 8th it gets me a kilo and there is nothing better than using for free because I'm was such a low life who sold to my friends my customers, the people who call me at all hours jonesing, yeah dealers are such a-hole phuckers.
Sorry about the rant but no one ever has a kind word for the people who risked it all for those of you to get high. Have some respect for an old dealer learning to live life clean in more ways than one.
