An hour till I got to leave for work, my heads a mess, my heart is in pieces and I feel like I am a fool.
I am really sorry for being so vague after so much honesty but I am just in so much pain right now...then to go to a place I hate and be in physical pain on no sleep again.
Trust me folks, if I don't smoke today/tonight I may have to still shovel **** for a long time but I will never smoke again because today my heart is beaten and I really wish if I cannot be numb I could just shut down my feelings.
As we all know life is no fair.
I just don't get why the asses of the world make out fine and get free living and things they just do not deserve at ALL!
I don't often ask for prayers and thoughts, I am not a praying man by def, but I ask now if you don't mind.
I'll be checking in if my rambling mind does not make me post sooner then that.