Repeating pattersn
It is another fairly peaceful evening, here in our yurt, and we have the movie “Robin Hood; Men in Tights” on the television. A little Mel Brooks to lighten things up. It beats stilted conversation. Although, himself did point out the smaller amount that he had to drink and told me how much better he feels now that he is not drinking so much. He says that he has so much more energy now. (after only 3 days??) Just so ya know, we went through this last year as well. Only, it was earlier in the year; about the beginning of March. I remember this because, shortly after we talked about him drinking less and not loosing his temper as often(last year), I accidently drove too close to the mailboxes when retrieving the mail one afternoon and knocked off the driver side rear view mirror. I thought “Boy, this will let me know if things are improving or not.” He handled it well then, and didn’t blow his cork which really surprised me. However, by June, things were back to the same old story, which is when I started looking up information about alcoholism and joined SR. So, there is always a pattern, and all I do is wait for it to repeat.
I think that I have been waiting for something “big” to happen in order to justify making my move, but now, I don’t think that it will happen that way. I think that I am going to have to be honest and tell him that I just don’t want to be married to him any more. Not try to blame it all on the drinking, and accept my part in our little dance.