Why wait?
Honey....the first thing I want to say is...its not you...its him. It doesn't matter what else he drank...does it? I mean, it just doesn't. I am so sorry you are hurting. There was a recent thread on here about alcoholics and impotency or something...you should read it. Its an eye opener. We all thought it was just us...but honestly, no, its not.
i cannot for certain say that this is what your life is going to be like, of course. I can say...it sounds like you are lonely, unappreciated, unfulfilled, and those are all plenty of reasons to move on. I can also say, from personal experience, the ugly treatment, the impotency, the drinking, the lying, disappearing, replacing you with other random stranger drinkers they come across, all of it, will escalate. That is just the way the cookie crumbles. Could I count the number of nights I did what you did, turned away, in tears, after he blamed me for being unable to finish? Nope, there are far too many. Honey, let this guy go like you said are gonna do...we will all be here holding you up while you get through it. Don't beat yourself up about it, either. There is someone fantastic out there that will love and cherish you...that will spend tons of time just waiting to talk to you and see you. (Have you heard about this dryer delivery guy that popped into my life?) The number of guys out there just waiting to talk to you...to stand there and gaze into your eyes is limitless. They are literally everywhere. You just have to see them...and you don't because you are so wrapped up in this one! You deserve better than what this guy is giving you. Don't be sad, if you can ok? Be strong. Prepare. Get yourself together, so you can get rid of him, and move on. Get your ducks in a row. Detach, just maybe force yourself to quit caring what he says and does...and start caring about what YOU say and what YOU do. You can have the most amazing life...you just gotta reach out and grab it.