Hello Bluncain,
Just woke up here in the states - insomnia strikes again. Hugs to you across the pond. I was listening to an old family clock tick away the time. Of all the relatives I have lost I miss my paternal Grandfather the most. The clock was his and I cherish my memories of him winding it and hearing it mark time when I would stay with my grandparents. A lot of anger in that household, so being hypersensitive it was tough to stay there any length of time. He was a good hard-working man who perhaps did not choose the best mate.
If i read your post right, you have pulled out your available emergency fund and gave it to those you love rather than give in to your compulsion to drink. It sounds like you are using AA and Rational Recovery. Prayer & ancestors too.
May the deep love and abiding spirit of your grandmother hold you close today as you cook dinner for your man. Help you season well what you throw together in that pot. She stands beside you in support today in this moment by the grace of your God and hers as well.