New to sobriety. Does the emptiness ever go away?
Im new here so I hope im doing this right. I haven't been sober for very long, maybe two weeks or less. The emptiness I feel is soul crushing and I'm trying so hard not to go buy a bottle right now. I keep telling myself no and I hope I listen to myself. I'm on the verge of losing the love of my life and I still can't stop! I have promised my him for years that I'll stop and I never did. He stays hoping and praying that I'll keep my word. I want this so bad, I want to feel happy and whole without having to drink to enjoy life, I never want to hurt the one I love again because of some alcohol fueled rage. Its just so hard not to drink when I feel this terrible feeling of despair and it keeps me up sometimes for over 24 hours. I think tonight I'm just trying to consume myself in happy thoughts of the things that I will gain if I don't drink, maybe I can have my man sing and play guitar for me or something along those lines but I know that happiness will be short lived and I will end up crying at some point (probably multiple times )tonight because I cannot will not drink. There's a voice that keeps whispering "just a few shots he'll never know" but he always knows and even if I was able to sneak it I don't want to I want to be freed from this prison. Does this emptiness, depression and mind consuming feeling of wanting to drink ever fade? Some advice or encouragement would be greatly appreciated.