Originally Posted by
EmmyG 
Feeling depressed this week.
....
Maybe I should start working out. I need to lose 25 pounds and then I'd probably feel pretty good about myself. I just need to find myself again. Sometimes I struggle reconciling being a mom/being a woman. If that makes sense. I kind of lost my identity in this marriage. And when I'm home, the boys are on me non-stop (of course they are, they miss me during the day).
I agree so much with SparkleKitty! Acceptance of who you are today is very important. You're gaining Awareness. Then comes Acceptance.
This step is needed. When you're ready, you'll figure out what Action is next for you.
Is there anything you've been doing truly for yourself that you want to do? Not feeling like you should or have to.
Take baby steps with working on yourself. For me it's been working the 12 steps, Alanon meetings when I can make them, learning more about abuse, etc. What I've slowly been learning is how to change my own behaviors and thinking, then in turn I'm becoming comfortable with myself and the self esteem is improving. It's a journey, not a race with a finish line. The more I learn and implement what feels right to me, the more things change. I fall back from time to time, but now I'm learning how to get back up and keep going.
Give yourself permission to not have the answers. Take one day at a time. When you're not expecting it, clarity will come.
Have you found a good book about abusive relationships? I'm not sure if this one may help you, but I do like how they talk about being a target rather than a victim.
Respect Me Rules