I've just got to maintain the courage and say it to my doctor. I'm determined at the moment but it's easier to think than actually face it.
I'm going to tell my husband about this site. He's not an alcoholic but I would say he drinks too much. He's cut down a lot recently and only has a drink at weekends (he's in control of it basically). I won't tell him my username I don't think but I will let him know that April 9th 2014 is first sober day.
The thing is, now I've calmed down, my head tries to convince me it's not a problem, one glass will be ok. It's never just one glass though, hasn't been for well over a year. I always feel like I need two bottles in the fridge - I won't get through them (usually only one) but it's a comfort thing. It's just horrendous realising all of this.
There is half a bottle in the fridge. I've not touched it but don't want to throw it away in case my parents notice (they know I like a drink but not the extent and I'm not ready to let them into this just yet). It's tempting, especially given the panic attack I had, but I won't touch it. I am finally ready to do this.
Sorry for going on.