I am starting to realize that for me it is about not "picking up" what someone else has laid down.
Someone is grumpy....I am not, I don't have to pick their stuff up.
I picked everything up for so long. It is only the last six months or so that I am realizing that just because there is conflict....does not make it mine. About three weeks ago I had someone coming at me in anger (it was not my fault)....and I finally realized that she was 1. angry 2. Not at me, but just angry and 3. Finding a release valve to get it out.
My job was to take it or not. For the first time in 30+ years I did not take it. I did not mull over what I had done wrong. I got frustrated, stood up for myself (though was calm), and got to let it go later that day.
Don't get me wrong I have been in conflict before....but I ALWAYS thought it was my fault underneath. It was such a freeing experience when I did not pick it up this time.
In my opinion people with healthier dispositions don't pick it up to the same degree as I do.
I am here to say though that I am a teachable being, and I can learn.