Welcome back Scintillady. I'd also ask what your plans are for "trying harder" this time around. Going back through your posts for the past several months it seems that you are mainly just trying to do this on your own. Have you tried any local support groups such as AA, Smart, LifeRing. etc? They are all free and filled with people just like yourself that have only one goal - to quit drinking. Same with us here at SR.