Crushedjd, welcome to SR. Your situation sounds painful, and I'm sorry for all you've gone thru over the years. This is a very supportive community and a great place to learn about alcoholism and how to begin your own recovery.
Can I suggest that you read as much as you possibly have time for here? Other people's stories can really resonate sometimes and give you useful insights. I'd also recommend that you check out the stickies at the top of the page; here's a thread I found very helpful when I first showed up here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html
Alanon may also be a great resource for you, and maybe Alateen for your kids. Here's a link to help you find a meeting:
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
Again, welcome to SR, and I wish you strength and clarity.