I say two things to myself: 1) I did the best I could with what I had. I embrace change, I am imperfect, I try my best to right my mistakes, I am willing to look at myself critically and do what is necessary to change and grow. 2) What he/his family/his friends think of me is none of my business. I hope they figure it out. Until then, all their advice and input around me, my needs, my kids, and my kids' needs is basically illegitimate because it's so colored by self-interest.
Something else I'm learning -- I am no longer a fan of being around enablers any more than I am being around addicts. Their opinions are so clouded with self-deception and denial that I can't take their input seriously. You don't like me? Okay. Clean up your side of the street and I'll look after mine, thanks.
wherever HE goes, there HE is - the jackass who mucked it all up big time.
^^^ What she said.